ever since bethany helped me rework the chorus to ‘hated prechorus song’ i’ve not really known where to take the rest of the song. the one idea i’d had was this thing that started each line of the verses with “sing praise to the one” and then go on from there talking about stuff God does or stuff that He is. which i suppose is okay, but the thing is i don’t like the tune that goes with it. and if we’re all being honest i don’t really like the words either. so anyway i’ve been working out a new basic tune idea to carry through the verses and some bits of words are coming with it. also, ironically, i came up with most of a new prechorus for it that i don’t hate……so maybe i’ll have to change my working title for it soon.

i’ve also been working on ‘the one with the riff’ which might be finally nearing completion. it is about losing focus. or having skewed priorities, and wanting to feel whole again. right now i’m thinking it will be called either ‘make me whole’ or ‘more than this’…..the latter not to be confused with the 10,000 Maniacs song of the same title…..hmm….that could be a real problem. can’t compete with those maniacs. maybe ‘something more’ instead.

anyway.

the first chorus for that song said:

make me whole again
give me hope again
could you come and fill
this empty heart

i mentioned filling a heart earlier in the song too but then decided i didn’t like that idea very much. i think it might be one of those things that people just say in church but you really don’t know what it means unless you think about it. i could be wrong. i am often wrong.

but i changed the last two lines and it fits much better with the rest of the song now:

make me whole again
give me hope again
help me find my way
to something more

so there you go. i was having trouble with the ending too because it just sort of drops off….but i may have finagled* it to where it’s okay that it does that now.

and now for something else entirely.

i’ve come to really dislike the typical churchy cliches that you hear all the time when you listen to a lot of worship music — and when you talk to a lot of christians. i read somewhere where someone called it “christianese” which i think is both very funny and very accurate.

a lot of times christians don’t talk like regular people when they’re in church — they say all sorts of things that i suspect they would never say if they were not in church. have you seen this happen? i mean if you are someone who would actually end a conversation anywhere with anyone by saying “have a blessed day” then that is one thing. you are who you are. and if i had a conversation with you i might feel extra happy when you leave or something, who knows. but if you find yourself only saying things like that when you’re in church……why is that?

i’ve found myself very interested in trying to reword things in my writing. simplifying, in a lot of cases. finding out what it is that that phrase really means and going there, or finding a different way to express an idea than the way you typically hear it. i mean i know it is really tempting to rhyme “cross” with “loss” in your writing but…..surely there are other words to be used.** i am by no means some kind of authority on this. i just find myself wishing a lot of times that some words were different. obviously there are some words that are going to sound “churchy” no matter what…i imagine most times that people hear “grace” or “hallelujah” they think of church things, but there are exceptions.

all that to say that i just want to avoid phrases that may have lost their meaning because they are overused.

anyway. rant over.

* i just looked up “finagled” in the dictionary to make sure i spelled it right (which amazingly i did, by the way) and realized that it is entirely misused everywhere i’ve ever heard it. do you know that it means means to act in a devious or dishonest manner? i did not know this. so i apologize for my improper use of the word. i assure you i did not act deviously or dishonestly when i was experimenting with new ways to end the song.

** i am not looking down on songs that do this necessarily. “wonderful cross” for example is full of words and phrases we don’t really say anymore but it is beautiful in its imagery and i happen to really like that song. i just heard someone make fun of “the go-to christian rhyme” once (“Jesus” and “frees us” is the other one) and i laughed because it is true.