(if this title makes no sense to you at all, you should probably read this first so you know what on earth i’m talking about.  :)

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sitting down and saying “i’m going to write an entire song right now” is almost entirely against my nature.

now if i’m actually inspired, sometimes i’ll sit down with that inspiration and most or all of a song will just come out by its merry self; but that’s not what this is.  this is forced.  it goes against my creative sense.  and the odds of me being inspired at the exact time i’d write seem slim to none.

but that is, after all, in large part why this exercise was so interesting sounding to me; i just wanted to know what would actually happen if i tried it. so i sat down, said a quick prayer for what i was doing, and got to work.

i decided i wouldn’t spend much time thinking about what chords or key was perfect or cool sounding and just started working with the first idea that came to me.  if you’ve followed my blog for a long time you might remember that i have a tendency to write bridges to songs first.  i love bridges and i usually don’t fight that urge.  but for something like this i figured i would be entirely lost if i started at the bridge (who knows if that’s actually correct or not) so i decided i’d better start with a chorus.

i decided not to be too picky about the general idea either — that i’d just commit to whatever idea i had and refine it as well as i could.

the base idea was something expressing the desire to put yourself aside and have God come take over; to submit yourself fully to what he wants, to let him shape you and help you grow.  so shooting from the hip i started with something like this:

when all of me can finally say
Jesus have your way
in my heart, in my life
i am yours

because of the way the chords were flowing, that seemed like only half of the chorus, so i added another half to it in similar form and i was off and running.  but reading over it i wanted to avoid using ‘i am yours’ as a focal point of the song (mostly because of the ‘king forever’ line) so that had to go.  so i reworked that until i was happy then i played through it a few times, trying to see where i might go chord-wise and try to figure out what would come next.  i tried to get into a verse and got stuck pretty fast — wasn’t sure where to go lyrically or with the chords i had.  so i played through the chorus again to see about the bridge.

did i mention i love bridges?  :)  it was like a breath of fresh air to get to write the bridge.  it didn’t take long, either.  lyrically i wanted to make a declaration of dying to myself, and i loved the idea of saying “death to me”, so that was in straight away.  then as soon as i thought about singing i loved it even more — the image of singing “death to me” resonated with me a lot.   i just had to work out the cadence and make it flow right from the chorus and wham! — i had my bridge.

i sang through it some more to get the whole feel and was satisfied.  now back to those pesky verses.

it’s kind of weird to write verses last but that’s frequently the boat i live in.  it’s like going back in time; i have to go figure out how to get you where i’ve ended up, you know?  maybe you don’t.  but that’s how it feels.

i wrestled the verses for a long time.   although i think what helped the most was changing the chord structure.  the one i thought i’d use wasn’t getting me anywhere, but when i switched it, it helped a lot.  the first verse came from start to finish, but then i had issues with how to end it and get to the chorus.  when i finally figured out the chords and melody that would work, i realized i  had to change the chorus because all of a sudden my idea didn’t really flow together.  so i went and hammered that out and played through it some more.

the second verse is always easier to write than the first one.  doesn’t matter which verse you write first — the first or the second — whichever one you write first, the other one becomes easier, at least for me.  once you kind of have the way a verse is supposed to flow it helps a lot and it’s just a matter of figuring out what you want to say.  after a few terrible ideas i ended up writing the second verse backwards.  i figured out how i wanted to get back into the chorus first and then went back and wrote the rest.

i sang through it all again and changed some words that were bugging me and this is where i ended up:

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winds they blow around me
waves they rise above me
i will not be shaken
i will not be moved

for my God is with me
he will never fail me
so come Lord, now  erase my doubt
and reign in me

that all of me would finally say
Jesus have your way
all my heart, all my life
completely yours
watch all my failures fade away
into your smiling face
all i am is in you
completely yours
i am completely yours

pull me ever closer
lead me to your heart
give me eyes like your eyes
love for all you’ve made

let me see you moving
help my unbelieving
could i lay my desires aside
and crown you king

and i lay down my life at your feet before your throne
singing “death to me! my heart beats now for you and you alone!”

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to be honest i’m actually happy with it, which is something i would not have thought would be possible from something like this.  i’m sure it’s not in it’s final form, but i think the majority of it is there and has potential.

so there you have it — the day 1 recap.  i don’t know if i’ll go into as much detail each time about the whole process, but we’ll just see how it goes.  who knows what day 2 will bring tomorrow?